Graf,
Xenomorph,
16 years ago
(Be prepared this may be a long one...)
As the rumbling in the cities above continued, Graf woke form his thousand-or-so-year slumber. His eyes were caked shut, his legs numb, and he was HUNNNNNNGRY. He finally was able to open his eyes to find him wielding two weapons. The dreaded OG stick, and the Green Flourescent Radioactive Bunny. These two weapons, which were now linked to Graf's DNA, would prove useful.
Graf stumbled around in a foggy haze, until he finally realized what he had been doing. The object, the one everyone had been after... The skull.
Graf roared in anger at letting himself become voulnerable, and he became even angrier when he thought about the damage his precious skull may have taken. So Graf shouted "IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZOR" and fired his plasma cannon upwards until he was able to climb to the surface...
Seeing Cletic fleeing for pluto, Graf uses the Og stick to teleport him back to the ground. Graf waves, "Good evening to you sir." and gives him a quick kick in the nads, grabs the skull, slaps Cletic with the bunny (leaving a green streak across his face), and promptly teleporting him to a non-fatal version of the sun, where Cletic is forced to watch teletubbies, barney, and Twilight for 5 turns, until the TV breaks.
GRAF IS BACK BABY!
oh and uh...
My skull