@DH
>Just as color, ethnicity, and language are "essential" to your being, so is gender.
I completely disagree with pairing colour with ethnicity and language. Colour is an element of the real, ethnicity and language are elements of the human. Colour would still exist without people, ethnicity and language would not and while ethnicity and language have a major influence on the development of a personality, colour should have none. I know your argument is "but that's not how it is in today's world" and I don't give a fuck how it is in today's world, because, as I've noted several times, I am talking about the distant future.
>Sexual identity is tangible, not in the physical body, but rather in the behaviors of the endocrine system.
The endocrine system is part of the physical body, I would appreciate it if you didn't start your arguments with a flawed premise. I know what you're saying, that the subconscious regulates bodily functions and that the subconscious is part of your self, but I disagree with that. When it comes to humans, I distinguish the conscious as being the person/individual/sapience and the subconscious as being the collection of instincts that are necessary for the body to function. Both influence each other and are influenced by outside factors, but would be able to function separately if it were possible, like animals function without an active, complex sapience, but with a very complex and active set of instincts. And a person without a body that lives in a society where gender is not a factor would not develop a gender identity.
@DD
"Yeah, but if gender should have no effect on someone's identity... Well, isn't that the whole point trans people are making? We shouldn't apply narrow biological labels to people's mind/identity. If being male or female doesn't mean anything, wouldn't you agree that concepts like gendered clothing/toys/bathrooms/etc. shouldn't exist? If it's all in our heads anyway, what difference does it make if, for example, a man wears a dress and acts in a "feminine" way?"
Yeah, that's the whole point I'm making. I GET that you're saying that we're a product of our society and that since in this society gender is presented as being important, it makes people cling to it as if it were a valuable part of their identities, but I'm talking about an ideal situation as a possible future. I'm pretty sure we're not contradicting each other, we're just talking about different theoretical situations.
"I disagree that it's all in our heads, though."
Yeah, I'm saying it's all in our bodies. I think the other aspect of my argument that you guys are missing is that I'm not talking about the actual genders that humans, as animals, can have physically. Identifying as either male, female, both or neither are all understandable choices, given that it has been a part of the physical programming of living creatures since long before humans existed and we are born with a combination of those options. What I'm saying is that any other option is simply made up and unhealthy for both the mind and the body. It's like adding a 3 to a 01 language and expecting it to work without previously teaching the computer what the fuck a 3 even is. Even though you convince yourself that your gender is "wall" enough that your body starts to sweat paint, you're still not going to be a healthy person, because your body isn't made to function with the "wall" input and your mind has absolutely no use for the gender what-so-ever. It is simply a caprice. You can convince your subconscious that you are anything, because the conscious mind, at least in humans, is infinitely stronger than the subconscious. BUT so can any outside factor, such as social pressure, or trauma, or anything that lasts long enough really.
And your tree analogy is completely different to what I was saying. I was talking about maintaining the posture of the sapling so that it can continue to grow and not fall over on its own weight and wither. It doesn't matter if it's an apple tree, orange tree, or a fur tree. They're all trees and all of them do the same physical functions, but if the tree were suddenly sapient and convinced that it had to grow downward because society has been mean to it and it needs to feel unique, and then everyone were all like "oh wow you're growing the other way, I completely support you in your decision!" then it would eventually become unable to develop enough leaves to stay alive.