-Bloo-,
Yautja,
10 years ago
"There is nothing that can be done, my sisters, my brothers, my followers and my master, that has not already been done. This is much, we know. We, at our strongest, and with our limited advances in forum postery, cannot and will not ever hope to defend from such an enemy in our current state. We are Generation 1. We will become legends, but all sources of legend, as they say, are dead as fuck by the time said legend is heard.
However: Our disastrous succumbing to the sentient desserts of the U.K. is not a question of when, but if. Even as I speak, our forces are being decimated; our land is, at this very moment, perhaps, being refitted with a Glasgow Oven. This is not evidence of our defeat - this is evidence of our resolve, for if we were as weak as they say, then I would not be here making this speech. Are they winning? Yes. Are we dead?
Do not fret. Do not cry. There is hope. There is always hope. We have chosen our champions.
Just last week, our new comrade, the Drop of Death, had stolen their leader's unholy weapon of choice, the Bendy Straw. Our very own Doctor has reversed the polarity of the Bendy Straw's fuckassery; the weapon will now be used, forever until the end of time, against the very forces from whence it came.
Many of the anti desserts have already fallen to this straw. The Bendy Straw has been graced with the power to keep the Kitchen Army away. Although this power is not permanent - and the straw's power WILL weaken over time - we will use this time to train our successors so that they might have the chance we never did.
Let this be known to us and to future inheritors of our legacy: We roleplay. We roleplay so hard. Desserts cannot roleplay, and so they can never truly defeat us. I will be your guiding light; I will be the gritting of your teeth.
True, I will not be here forever, and even if I am here in the future, I will not have the power I possessed at the time of this writing. What is important is the strength you find within yourself as you read these ancient words. What is important is that you remember what this website is and who your fellow members are.
We are soldiers. Stand or die.
When the Anti-Pie and his unholy army of U.K. Kitchen Renovators breaks through the Bendy Straw's barrier, these words, I hope, will be with you. Our spirit will be with you.
Praytell, forthcoming Generation, rebels of anti-desserts, inheritors of the Mantle: Are you going to let your kitchen get renovated?
Will you fall to the Anti-Pie?"
- Praetorian: August 24, 2004
DD, YOU GOTTA SNAP OUT OF IT
REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE