-Bloo-,
Human,
11 years ago
>MS: Be Slick.
Wish granted. You are now FireHunter.
>FH: Do the thing.
You can’t do the thing because John Blackburn, the host you’ve chosen for the new Red, keeps running away like a bitch.
If there was a way to pin him down, you either didn’t realize it yet or were just waiting on… something.
>FH: Be Demon.
Gotcha. You are now Slick.
>Slick: Be Demon.
You can’t. You’re already Demon.
>Demon: Keep an eye on Magenta.
You can’t keep an eye on magenta. You ARE Magenta.
>MS: Keep an eye on FireHunter.
With tentative eyes that are metaphorical as they are observant (which is very), you realize that you, Magenta, are being stalked by one of FireHunter’s SLAVE GUYS, a Praetorian guard named DEMON.
The SUPPLY HANGAR’S HATCH has somehow repaired itself and is now closed. Your arrival was very conveniently timed, and could have only been better if you showed up with balloons.
Balloons are also a universal constant.
Curiously, everything required for a birthday party seems to be a universal constant, except for TRICK CANDLES.
Fuck trick candles. (That’s a metaphor for FireHunter. He’s a trick.
Basically, just, fuck that guy.)
>MS: Consume Demon’s blood.
You noticed Demon noticing you, and you want to give Demon notice that you noticed him, too.
Oh, god. This is it, isn’t it? After the initial story set up, you ventured your way through the RPG until you came to the point of no return (Bloo’s death). And then you ventured throughout the map, killing mooks and learning about your adventure. And now, after a major event (the Supply Hangar opening and the attempted capture of Blackburn), in ADDITION to the initial encounter with your rival (FireHunter) and his elite mooks (the Praetorian Guard), it’s time for – that’s right – a BOSS BATTLE.
Holy shit. You hope the sewage pipes are pointing south, because shit’s about to go DOWN.
>MS: Instigate pre-battle cut-scene.
You like to talk to your stronger enemies before you eat them, like you did with Bloo. You couldn’t care less about conversation – you really use this opportunity to give them a false sense of overconfidence while also figuring out their strengths/weaknesses. You don’t do this consciously, of course – you’re an alien, and you don’t think in math.
MAGENTA: damn, son, you be lookin fine
DEMON: What?
MAGENTA: i like the size of your crown >:]
MAGENTA: can i lick it
DEMON: Goddamn, you're a crazy, sexy bitch.
DEMON: How are you so skinny and... long?
DEMON: Are you here to kill our new Queen?
DEMON: Are you JEALOUS??
MAGENTA: jealous
MAGENTA: bitch no
MAGENTA: i didnt even know you were making a new queen
MAGENTA: wait youre making a new queen
DEMON: So you're not Bloo?
MAGENTA: ok im gonna kick your ass first