Wow, the life of the Burrito Monster sounds pretty rough.

@Bloo

Painful.

So id like to inform you all that on november 8th through the 11th i will be biligerently hammered at comic con, suck it nerd! I say whilst pointing dramaticly at DD!

Burrito monsters? You poor sheltered bastards. Those ain't burrito monsters. I seen the real ones. Seen em' right up close.

It was the summer of 95'. Hot summer, that year. You looked into the distance, and the air would do that little shimmer, like in desert movies. It was just four of us, back then. Guy name of Steve was driving the van. We'd just Someone said they were hungry. We'd just gotten off the freeway when we saw the sign. Taco Bell, 5 miles out. We had an extra half hour or so before we had to be wherever we were going. We were young. We didn't know.

We ordered burritos, every last one of us. We thought we could handle em'. There were spicy and shitty and filling. We didn't question how anything could be all three. Not once. We were so young. We finished em' right there in the parking lot. 6:00 PM, no one else around. You should have seen that pavement cook.

Steve's stomach was the first to start growlin', that much I remember. Then came the pain. Our guts turned into writhing snakes. I shat myself harder than I ever thought possible. After that, things get... blurry. Can't remember which of us vomited first. Maybe we all went at once. Maybe we went one at a time, like dominoes. All I can tell ya for sure is that the car never smelled the same.

Didn't see the burrito monster until it was too late. Fifteen feet a' beef, rice, and hate. Tore out of Steve's ass like a bat outta Hell. I tell you, I emptied a full clip of Motofen into it. Bastard kept comin'. Thing like that can't be stopped by the small stuff.

Alan tried to reach for some tums, but liquid shit blasted outta his ass like Satan's own fire hydrant. Shot him out the window and ten feet through the air. Jeremy was pukin' so hard the car was weighted down by it. The burrito monster was busy with Steve. Ole' Steve... Poor bastard was pouring Pepto-Bismol into that thing. Didn't even slow it down.

My own ass was bleeding from the sheer force of the shittin'. Had to bail out. Still remember Jeremy's face as the burrito monster tore into him. I'd held out as long as I could, but the shit wasn't takin' no for an answer. I used it to my advantage. I rocketed over the pavement. I can still feel the burns.

That dough-wrapped hellspawn was still after me, though. Crawlin' over the burning shit streak like a hound sniffin' blood. The blacktop hated me, but it hated him more. Cooked him right there. I looked around, and I seen flies and birds all over im'. He thrashed around for a full five minutes before he gave up on me. By then I had rocketed into the Taco Bell's air conditioning.

Last time I saw it, it was runnin' into the bushes. They never found the body.

Trick or Treat Motherfuckers, I mean Happy Halloween everybody!


(if seen please return to me, I lost my Troll/Ogre thing)

Just thought I'd wish everybody a happy and hopefully scaryHalloween(aka Samhain because Halloween is more closely related to Samhain).

@Peterson

Well goodluck and have fun!


Deathdrop, I had no idea how deadly these Burrito Monsters were and how much damage they could cause to a single human being. I have to ask...if there any way you can defend yourself from these horrible creatures? I need to know, no no I MUST know!

@Peterson: Holy shit.

@DD: holy shit

Hey skull-ripper, is that picture from Hellboy: The Golden Army? Because the background is a little familiar...

It's Mr. Wink, personal bodyguard of Prince Nuada. I know this because I have the special 2-disk DVD of Hellboy II. I own this because Guillermo del Toro is a golden god.

Has anyone seen my pants?

I still haven't seen that, and i like Hellboy.

I just got battlefield 3 Andes it is..... Wait for it.................Its fucking awsome!

I just got battlefield 3 Andes it is..... Wait for it.................Its fucking awsome!

Is the PS4 out yet?

I want to have metal gear solid 5!

SNAKE! SNAKE! SNAAAAKE!!!!!!!

Oh my God, oh my God, fuck Microsoft Outlook. Fuck it. Fuck it right in its stupid, nonfunctional ass.

Holy cow Death drop, that was a horrible attack. The fact that you survived a Burrito monster attack amazes me. Sometimes, I think the Canadians have it right, maybe they are too dangerous to let them live with us. My worst case was the head sized bee attack.
@peterson, congratz man, maybe you want to take a friend with you. Some one whose Username begins with a S and ends with a 6 and whose real name rhymes with Safari?

Super, if you were trying to hint at "Bloo," those were terrible hints.

Darn it bloo, I almost got away with it but you sold me out man.

Holy shit Bloo, are you saying your real name doesn't rhyme with Safari? What kind of nerd name doesn't rhyme with Safari! LOL

My real name rhymes with safaro, so now I'm gonna go cry.

@DL: Yeah it's Mr. Wink at the Troll Market from Hellboy II: The Golden Army, he's my new favorite monster and one of the last cool original animatronic monsters in film which is unfortunate.

Oh, I get it. Your real name is none other than Cockdiddlybronzebeardcamaro. You're gonna need to change your name now or you'll get hacked. Unless you KNEW I was going to guess this and changed your name in advance!