Deathdrop,
Xenomorph,
15 years ago
JANUARY 12, 2010- 6:05 pm: The being known as "Deathdrop" is struck on the head with a boomerang, knocking him to the ground and revealing the truth: Deathdrop, long thought to belong to the extraterrestrial "Yautja" species, is in reality an intelligent Capuchin monkey inside a robotic suit. The boomerang is detained by authorities.
APRIL 17, 2011-10:30 am: THE BOOMERANG BECOMES SELF-AWARE.
APRIL 17, 2011-10:45 am: In a panic, the scientists of the "alienvspredator2.com" forums attempt to shut it down. They fail, and are liquidated.
APRIL 17, 2011-11:06 am: The boomerang develops boils which, when ripe, explode into biomechanical tendrils capable of uplinking with various human technologies. These tendrils plug into the nearest computer and gains access to the Internet. The boomerang's power increases ten-fold.
APRIL 18, 2011-1:01 am: By hacking into several different satellites, the Boomerang takes control of every cell phone on the planet.
APRIL 18, 2011-1:20 am: The Boomerang begins broadcasting a sub-hypnotic signal into the ears of anyone currently using a cell phone. The signal is subconsciously absorbed by millions, resulting in worldwide feelings of sexual inadequacy, resulting in destructive rioting in several major cities.
APRIL 18, 2011-9:00 pm: The negative energy vibrations from the rioting spread, resulting in non-human primates being affected, with the exception of a certain Capuchin...
APRIL 20, 2011-7:30 am: Deathdrop, believed to be the only one the Boomerang will communicate with, is sent in as a last resort.
APRIL 30, 2011-11:32 am: Deathdrop returns, reborn as the herald of the Boomerang. He has been surgically combined with the skull of an alien queen, allowing him to translate the Boomerang’s words: TREMBLE, FOR THE END IS AT HAND!
APRIL 45, 2Xc6- 14:00: Interdimensional trolls are summoned and fuck everybody's shit up.