Deathdrop,
Yautja,
14 years ago
Cerebus was walking through a cornfield after obtaining the skull for his mistress. Suddenly, the air around him began to vibrate in a way he had last felt when his center head had suffered a particularly bad injury.
All 3 heads felt it this time, though, and there was no denying it was a physical phenomenon rather than a mental one; the ground had begun shaking.
Suddenly, the area around him appeared to tear itself open, and he could see a ghostly image of himself continuing to walk through the field, which had the same translucent, otherworldly quality about it.
The 3-headed beast felt a pulling sensation all around him, and was struck with the idea that he was doing something incorrectly; that he should be moving through the field.
What he felt next could be compared to being suddenly lifted out of very cold water. There was a horrible feeling of weightlessness, and, just as he felt that he would never stop falling, there was a great light shining all around him.
It shone for a moment, and then things were different. Realizing for the first time his feet were touching ground again, the dog had all 3 of his heads scan his new surroundings. There was what appeared to be glass all round him, but the things on the outside of the glass were what he was paying attention to.
They had heads like upside down pears with no visible mouths. The things had 2 pairs of arms that terminated into long, flexible fingers with shovel-like tips. They had no legs, somehow floating around with numerous wisps of what might have been hair (or perhaps tentacles) that trailed of into nothing.
Their backs had what appeared to be 8 huge nostrils arranged in neat rows, and their "chests" looked more like snake vertebrae covered by half-filled water balloons. Their skin was translucent, having no particular color (instead changing constantly) and allowing the dog to see all of their alien organs.
"CEREBUS!" said their thought transfer sacks, "IT IS GOOD THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE OF YOU. REMOVING ORGANISMS FROM THE TIMESTREAM IS DIFFICULT."
Just as the dog began to mentally question what was happening, the aliens responded.
"YOU ARE 3 TRAPPED IN ONE. YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE ONLY ONE MIND. IN REALITY, YOU ARE 3 SEPERATE ENTITIES TRAPPED WITHIN A HIVEMIND CREATED BY THE HUMAN ZEITGEIST MANIPULATION PROGRAM 'HADES.' WE WILL FREE YOU FROM THIS MADNESS."
And so, the aliens freed Cerr, Ree, and Buss from the horrible thing that had been done to them, and even surgically modified them so that they could each have their own body.
Ree realized that he felt more like a woman, and was given sexual reassignment surgery. SHE is currently touring with a lonely hearts club band.
Cerr took on the identity of "Man-Dog" and fought crime.
Buss is currently selling pot beneath the New Jersey Turnpike.
As a result of all of this craziness, that fucking dog cannot be used again. Have some goddamn creativity, or I'll have those funky alien things give you a gigantic fanged maw where your stomach should be. It will eat your loved ones.
Gentlemen, I believe I have earned the skull. I steal it from the hole and run off.
MY SKULL!