@Bloo

Actually I think alienxeno got banned for that mainly because having people threaten to kill themselves isn't funny(if he was joking around) and perhaps it was for the best(he really needs to get some help). And frankly as someone who has been very depressed before(I've never threatend to kill myself though) it's depressiong to hear stuff like that.

There's nothing wrong with him as far as we know. He claimed he would do it if he got a warning, so we gave him a suicide hotline number and banned his account.

From the way you're speaking, it sounds like he WAS just saying it, in which case I'm glad we banned him, because that is not funny.

But I could help him I study psychology and could've helped him He was my good friend :( it's sad seeing people killing themselves I don't want that happening in life it's very sad even David draiman talked about suicide and he suffered in life too now he is the leader of disturbed

Well, shit, dude. Way to put me on the spot. But ALRIGHT.

Your noodles depend on the size of the crack, which usually depends on the type of elephant, African or Asian, though you can also have African Bush and African Forest, which are, in fact, as dirty as they sound. If you can somehow find yourself a mammoth or mastodon, then holy shit, what the fuck are you doing stuffing noodles up its scaley, poop-laden ass crack? Sell that shit and buy two small Asian elephants!

Now, for a general rundown, lets assume you sold your mastodon for two small Asian Elephants. Congratulations! That money could have gone to your mother's mortgage.

Take one of your Elephants and shower it with sweets and cheese and buy a slave for it to fall in love with. Now take the other elephant and lock it in your highest tower with only its fabulous signing voice and a hay stack. This elephant will grow to hate you and the former elephant and eventually give birth to twins that will also hate each other. They will be the focus point of a terrible anime that had its moments. Also, school girls and vampires.

The former should, after a long while, grow up to have the firmest of cracks, at which point you want to measure it with a yardstick. If it's deeper than half a yard stick, DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

now, if it's less than half a yard tick, congratulations! You just stuck a yard stick up an Asian Elephant's asshole.

Given the extreme texture of an elephant crack (no matter what type it is, unless it's a mammoth, in which case I applaud you for having the strength to not sell that shit for millions), you want to go for fettuccine, Alfredo optional. Don't question me, it just works.

You can also use uncooked rice sticks, but NEVER. FUCKING. COOK THEM.

Never use spaghetti noodles, unless they're wheat. Cook them as long as you want.

You can also use macaroni and other short noodles, but let's be real, you aren't some Elementary teacher douchebag.

Also, by far the worst to use is Ramen. Actually, try it out, just make sure to take a picture of your results.

^ This man is a professional.

@Wolf: As I just got done explaining, he probably didn't.

Hahaha you guys are funny:) hey why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom! :D XD

We've passed the 900 post mark. This is the beginning of the end of this thread. This is some REAL shit.

Off-Topic Thread 10... Fuck.

@Deathdrop

Is that going to be the name of Off-Topic Thread 10?


I got a joke for you guys: How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag?

We've started talking about elephant ass. This is definitely the beginning of the end.

You cram some noodles up it's ass, obviously.

How

@Bloo

How do you get an elephant into a Safeway bag?

I JUST TOLD YOU.

Um, you cram some noodles up its ass?

edit: I STOLE YOUR ANSWER AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW, BITCH.

HMMM MUST BE AN ECHO IN HERE.

Hell if I know

THIS INFORMATION IS AVAILABLE. SRYLY. U GUISE.

WE JUST


BUT I



FUCK

You take the F out of Safe and the F out of way.

Lol I'm dying that's hilarious