I hereby declare this the Off-Topic Thread theme song.

i disagree.

@DD: I can dig it.

You don't even have to know the movie to know why this is appropriate for this thread - scroll down and the lovely community of Youtube will point you in the right direction.

i hate that song.

I hear by declare that Bloo is our Official site gimp in honor of the Off Topic Theme song!

"i disagree."

Irrelevant.

"i hate that song"

Can't hear you over that killer sax action.

@DD: I can dig it

Damn straight.

"I beg to differ. oh yeah by the way my ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish she liked to dress like herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time... anyone else had this problem?"

Nope. My last ex fucked my former best friend and his brother. She had a thing for dressing up like a Playboy Bunny. Not that I ever complained, until I found out about her. Other than that, my ex had a fetish for dressing up like a Playboy Bunny. She tries to call every now and then but I still can't stand that back stabbing cunt.

If that's what this is turning into, then I have the best one ever: Back in high school, one of my exes started dating the ex-guitarist in my (then) band before breaking up with me because she "thought we were already over." To add to this, the asshole quit my band because "of his grades" (after begging to join in the first place) and then proceeded to shove in my face that he had my girlfriend.

He was a new kid and no one knew how much of a douchebag he really was. A few months later he would start begging my new guitarist to be in the band again behind my back. Thankfully, the new guitarist is one of my best friends and is in every way better than the first guy, and so she told me. After a while, I decided not to do anything to the first guy because it just wasn't worth it.

Also, they had a preggo scare at one point, which was really fun for me.

ahh preggo scares, if i had a dollar for everyone of those ive had to deal with then i would have about $3.50 but none the less Bloo i do rather enjoy that story. I think i need to pin a topic and title it the Adventures of Bloo.

that would be cool.

An entire topic to myself to basically blog about the politically incorrect savages surrounding my life would be soon abused by and filled with irrelevant stories of how I once jumped out of a moving vehicle because someone in the car yelled "BEEEAAAARR!!!1" And that's... that's fine with me, but there are children here, and they probably don't much care for the supernatural shit and animal encounters I've got stored up.

You need to share one of those animal encounters right fucking now.

T-Rex? Koalas? Fire Ants? You can't keep fucking with me like this.

BRING THE THUNDER.

Here's one for you - it's got both the supernatural shit and the animal encounters all rolled into one juicy... supernatural dinner roll (I said I would post stories, not good metaphors): One time in Asia (Philippines, to be specific), a continent that has the freakiest shit to ever come out of bulls, Ol' Grampa had to have his leg amputated or his disease or whatever would spread and kill him much quicker than normal. The night he was supposed to come back home, everyone was decorating the neighborhood to celebrate his safe surgery (the neighborhood was pretty much all blood-related).

That same night, about two hours before the old timer was supposed to come back home for the party, apparently one of the party-planners spotted giant motherfucking snake in the ceiling of the kitchen of Grampa's house. She was screaming, so out of human instinct, curiosity and stupidity, we all crowded around the door of the kitchen and even caught a glimpse of the side of the fucker's body. It was like a moving water pipe that liked wearing leather pants.

This was like 6 or so years ago when I was 15 or something. (Around the time I joined this site, actually.) I had no real idea what was going on, but I knew that the party, at the moment, got so fucked up the ass that a S.W.A.T. team for giant snakes was called in (apparently that's a thing) consisting of a bunch of dudes who only asked for beer and some of the party food as payment. One guy - and I shit you not - started Assassin's Creed-ing the side of the main house and opened up a part of the roof where we thought the snake would be. For a while the team couldn't find the guy. We told them it was an orange, exotic-looking snake, so that's what they were searching for. They finally caught the thing around the time Gramps came home from his fucked party (the look on his face made me both happy and sad). Only... the snake was brown.

Yeah, so here comes the supernatural part: My dad used to have a sister who liked playing with animals, or something. Apparently she died getting hit by a bus when she saw a snake or something she wanted to play with. I've never known for sure all the details because I've never had the heart to ask he or any of my uncles/aunts about her. And so we asked the Filipino version of a psychic what the hell a brown snake was doing in the roof instead of the clearly orange one we saw earlier, and she explained that it might have been my dad's sister in mortal form making sure Grampa made a safe recovery. When we spotted her, she... replaced herself with a brown snake? We don't know, but it must have sucked to be that brown snake.

So yeah. There's plenty more where that came from.

look.....I AM A KID!I CARE! ABOUT YOUR STORY'S BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS INTERESTED IN THINGS I DID NOT DO!IT SHOULD HAPPEN!A BLOO'S STORY TOPIC!

Well you have long since been treading in the 0 fucks given thread young one, so in other words....




FRESH MEAT!

I'd like to climb up buildings and catch possessed snakes for a living.

Snakes in the roof is nothing new to me but is always a good tail. I myself have a two meter Carpet Python in my roof, eating all the rats and occasional bat and possum that it can get it's jaws around. On the topic of bats, one time after a week holiday at a beach/lake resort I came home to a dead bat still gripping onto the curtains. I still have no idea on how he got in and why he couldn't get out the same way.

I saw a dead chipmunk once. Scared the shit out of me. I was in the shed reaching for a pair of pliers and BAM! Right there. I'm glad no one saw me, because the way I reacted was... Unmanly.