I just remembered I'd written this a while back, to help the younger people who are not as experienced in the arts of the internet. It's a long piece of text, but it can enlighten you:
Anti-Troll Tutorial: How Not To Get Trolled
Hello there, my name is David and I'm here to talk to you about something we all encounter from time to time on the internet: trolls.
I'm sure you've all found yourselves at least once in a situation where a certain someone pops out of nowhere and says something that goes so blatantly against your personal understanding of common sense, that you just need to reply in a negative fashion in order to immediately correct such behaviour. If you do reply as described, then you, my friend, have been trolled.
An internet troll is not to be regarded as a real person, as it will not react to the same stimuli a real person would. It will not understand your motivation; it will not be insulted by your witty comebacks. It seeks only to waste your own resources absolutely in vain. For a skilled troll, the act of trolling is nearly effortless. The troll does not, in any way, believe in or care for any of the remarks it will make, regardless of how elaborate or well thought-out they may seem, regardless of how much they may mean to you personally. All it has to do is act like a damaged mirror. When you are arguing with a troll, you are not arguing with anyone other than yourself. It will only respond with what you would expect someone annoying or stupid to say. The troll doesn’t have to think his own replies, only to compose them out of your own frustrations, as disclosed by your own negative comments. During this process, the troll does not waste his own time, does not do any of the thinking, and does not harness any negative energy. However, you do.
That said, it takes a very still mind to successfully counter a troll, because all you have to do is reply in the same way – effortlessly. Remember that the person behind the keyboard whence the troll comment came is not actually in the comment. The troll comment is devoid of substance, personality, or thought. It is not someone being stupid or annoying; it is no one at all. Not replying is not a way to ensure that you aren’t getting trolled; the purpose of the troll is not to get your reply, but to awaken negativity. To counter a troll, one must reply neutrally or positively.
Do not be enraged by the troll.
If you are, do not tell the troll what is bothering you.
You have to say something nice to the troll, coming from a nice feeling inside of yourself. This means that all you have to do is feel good. Not feel good about yourself in relation to the troll, such pointless vanity is the kind of negative energy the troll is looking to reflect back. The person behind the troll is having fun simply by saying things he doesn’t think about and noticing the results. No matter how much thought or negativity you put in your comments, that will not change. Showing that you are positively affected by comments that go beyond the borders of common sense will determine the person behind the troll to get bored and leave, or to relate to you and start a nice conversation. Of course, the latter is only plausible when dealing with white knights (see “White Knights: A Female Troll’s Personal Army”).
Remember: you do not talk to the troll, but to yourself. Only say something you would like to be said to yourself. If you do not reveal any frustrations, the troll will have nothing to work with. The point is to keep yourself in a state of serenity. You do not implicate anyone other than yourself in the “conversation” with a troll; you do not become attached to anything it may say. If, for one reason or another, you are unable to find it within yourself to remain detached, disengage immediately and make yourself a nice cup of tea, with some toast.
The troll does not win when you reply; it wins when you feel slight negativity. No matter what the troll says, you are the only one who can harm you in this situation. I certainly hope this short and messy piece of text will help you remain calm and joyous throughout your stay among the many wonders of the Internet.
If it does not, you may just be retarded.
Sincerely yours,
David Davidson